Snug as a Bug

One of the most difficult tasks adult children contend with concerning elderly parents is taking away their car keys. Imagine having to be the bad guy and “muscle in” on their independence. I’m the baby in the family so I definitely didn’t want to be the one to do it. That job would clearly fall to the oldest sibling, right?

Yep—if it was necessary to confiscate their keys, Tommy certainly had my vote, but thankfully, he didn’t have to confront that issue at all.

In all honesty, my mom hasn’t driven in years. Dad’s been more than happy to drive her wherever she wanted, or needed to go—that is, until this past year. Once he shared with my sister he needed us to step in on his behalf, his desire to drive quickly dissipated. He still likes hooking those car keys to his belt loop though. (He just doesn’t feel dressed” without ‘em.) None of us have an issue with him keeping his keys since we know he’s not taking the car out for “joy rides.”

They’ve both had a tough year. Dad doesn’t prefer going anywhere without mom and also doesn’t like leaving her alone, so for the most part, they just stay put. It makes all of us happy knowing they’re both home—just as snug as a bug in a rug.

Where things get a little dicey is when we need to coordinate our work schedules to take them where they need to go. It’s comforting knowing they don’t drive, but in all honesty, it’s sometimes inconvenient.

Thankfully, getting them to church isn’t an issue. Living next door to the church daddy organized more than thirty years ago definitely has its perks. He just prefers to walk. He retired from the pastorate about four years ago but is still faithful to attend most every service.

Mom doesn’t go as much as she’d like. She’s just not physically able. We are thankful for live-streaming though. Cindy and I stay with her so daddy can have a little “time off.” So when it comes to church, we got ‘em both covered.

As for those (seemingly) never-ending doctor appointments? That’s an entirely different story.

Since they don’t live next door to all their doctors, my sibs and I must remove our “work” hats and put on our “chauffeur” ones. The thing is, there’s much more involved than just driving them to their appointments. Mom and dad both need help navigating each visit from start to finish.

The sibs and I discussed early in this “new phase” of our lives that mom and dad’s appointments are not our spouses responsibility, but Wendy volunteers when she can—mostly their critical care appointments. As a nurse, she’s familiar with the doctors. She speaks their “lingo,” and knows exactly what questions to ask. This alone makes my sweet sister-in-law a wealth of knowledge. She relays information back to us so we can make informed decisions about their medical needs. If she can’t be there physically, she is quick to pick up the phone if we call on her to “listen in,” or ask questions we may not know to ask.

Cindy takes them most often. Dad loves when her name is listed on his calendar for their ”chauffeur” of the day. He tells me that “other than driving a little fast,” she’s just a “go-getter.” Their bond, and his confidence in her is quite endearing. I love when he carries on about what all she does. Tommy and I take them on occasion also. I’m sure he feels the same about us too. (Wink wink)

It’s crucial for us to be with them when they need us most. They’re grateful for all we do, which makes it easier to help them. As I mentioned in a previous post, I do it because I get to, not because I have to.

I love that all of us take part in their day-to-day needs. It keeps them both home—just as snug as a bug in a rug.

I love my family.

Mom and dad could live another hundred years on this earth, but somehow, it still wouldn’t be enough time…