I remember the moment I knew something was wrong. It was late afternoon on that fateful day, June 16, 2016. I had been home mere seconds upon our return from the most amazing road trip across the United States of America. I immediately started journaling my unfortunate symptoms and all the variables surrounding my now, very strange life.
I created “My Alternate Universe” on March 13, 2018, almost one year and nine months later. My journal was full, as well as my very confused and exhausted brain! I had to devise a release for my frustration. The forlorn feelings I secretly bottled up over that extended period of time were instantly revealed through blogging. All it took was one click of the “PUBLISH” button on my iPad. WOW! How transformative and liberating was that? Who knew that was going to happen? Shouting it to the world through writing actually worked for me!
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I recall reading my very first post to my sister Cindy sitting in my car at a little gas station off Highway 378 and Leaphart Road. As the tears fell from my eyes, my heavy burden suddenly felt much lighter. This blog post would definitely not win me any writing awards, but for me, it felt like my masterpiece.
I could hardly wait to begin writing my next post The Storm Begins To Brew…
I quickly developed a true love for writing. I didn’t profess to be good at it, I just loved doing it. My goal was to write my very unique story in chronological order with all of my deepest thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams. This was to get out of me what was inside…free therapy of sorts. Anyone in the world that was interested in reading my crazy little story was an added bonus.
During those tumultuous times, my normal life seemed to be protected on the inside of a thick, glass bubble. I couldn’t seem to connect with it. The “alternate me” was on the outside peering in with my hands cupped around my squinted eyes so that I could try and focus on what needed my utmost attention. As it turns out, it was ME that needed my utmost attention. A different person was born as a result. I can’t say I liked her, but she was necessary at the time.
I knew I had to at least stay close to my “normal” life. Once I determined not to let go of myself, everything else I knew, loved, and always put first in my life, suddenly placed second to my own desperate needs. This wasn’t me being selfish. This was me in my survival mode.
That “glass bubble” time span was such a blur to me. Without my handwritten notes, many of the detailed accounts I so passionately write about now would have been inadvertently forgotten.
My previous life was always a very comfortable place, physically and mentally. My now, very forced alternate life was quite the opposite! Everything I perceived as good was now a twisted, sinister fairytale.
What was lurking inside of me? This unnamed monster would be my nemesis for quite some time. I was stronger than I gave myself credit but when I was at my weakest, God fought on my behalf. He was with me the entire time. Today, I am a stronger person because of it all.
For the entire 21 months prior to creating “My Alternate Universe” my spirit was broken in such a way I thought I would never be the same. If you have followed my blog from the beginning, my troubles, trials, tribulations, heartaches, pain, and fears are quite obvious.
These are sweeter stories and vicories along the way.
“Love Is Not a Feeling…Love Is Action!” (Part I)
“Love Is Not a Feeling…Love Is Action” (Part II
Before the blog…
It was June, 2016, I traveled 4,614 miles across the United States of America. (Yes, that is four thousand, six hundred, fourteen miles.) It was the mother of all road trips and the very best trip I had ever taken in my entire life. It was that, “purely unadulterated, top down, wind in your hair,” type of trip. You know! The ones you see in movies…except mine would have a much different ending.
My three “road trip” blog posts were quite an accomplishment for me. While I was writing them, I was in so much physical pain, but once I found myself engrossed in all of the intricate details of this phenomenal experience, my pain was subliminally shifted behind the exhilaration of writing about them all. It was at this point, I saw God’s fingerprint all over my life. I may have physically felt horrible, but I mentally felt INCREDIBLE! Yes! It’s definitely safe to say here, I was hooked on writing. All of the photos in these three posts are from my personal photos.
Road Trip Part II…The Calm Before My Storm
Road Trip III – Our Return Home
I was a happy, healthy, fit, forty-eight year old woman before and during that entire journey. The very instant I arrived home, my life would forever change. Once I stepped out of my car and onto my driveway, unspeakable pain would instantly invade my body and transform me into a person that I did not know. My fairytale, princess, storybook life I so enjoyed, would quickly morph into something quite the opposite.
I have a very high tolerance for pain y’all. This pain was off the chart!
I immediately sought care. I knew my body, and my body was SCREAMING at me that something was wrong. I naively started with my OBGYN doc. I already had an annual appointment scheduled with him anyway, so I figured I would hear what his thoughts were on the matter. Go ahead…you can laugh. I know! He’s not that kind of doctor. He would, however, get the roller coaster rollin’ in the right direction.
My Unhinged Roller Coaster Ride.
These next two “weight” related posts seem to be out of place, but are a continuation of the previous “roller coaster” post. I couldn’t leave them out or that story would not have made any sense at all!
After my visit to Dr. OBGYN, I would seek care with my primary care physician many times, but to no avail. After many tests and dead ends, he would eventually refer me to a rheumatologist. This appointment was tragically 6 months away.
My PCP thankfully also referred me to a brain and spine doctor that would take me to the next level. I only saw him twice and he found nothing wrong with me. Since he could not help me, he released me from his care, but it was HE that changed the trajectory of my story. Dr. Brain and Spine would send me away with a lasting gesture of good faith. I wrote about him my most recent posts. They lead into the upcoming story about my pivotal appointment with Dr. G, my coveted rheumatologist.
A Light at the End of the Tunnel (Part I)
A Light at the End of the Tunnel (Part II).
Two more important people…
You may need to be familiar with my sister-in-law Wendy, and my boss, Mr. Wine.
Wendy is married to my oldest brother Tommy. As a Registered Nurse, Wendy not only saved me from the mental abyss of my alternate universe, she saved my brother’s physical life as well. One would think God created this precious lady solely for my family. She now plays a huge role looking after my elderly mom and daddy when it comes to medical intervention or advice.
These two posts will properly introduce her.
Wendy would also be the one that informed me of the opportunity to also write for Lexington Medical Center’s “Every Woman Blog”. LMC is a highly ranked hospital in our local community and they were looking for new bloggers to contribute to their website. You may periodically see a “re-blog” from me. This is to eventually combine my two blogs together. If you read my previous “re-blog” called “Our Fleeting and Pivotal Moments”, you know a little bit about my personal backstory.
LMC has given me full discretion to post whatever I wish. I feel my two blogs differ in many ways. I incorporate my battle with rheumatoid arthritis in some manner for each of them if at all possible. There are a few posts that are completely off that subject, which is wildly refreshing! (I can hardly wait for LMC to post my Valentine’s Day post. That was a fun one for sure! Be on the lookout for it!)
Since I am intertwining these on my personal website, (which is still a work in progress), you can search my “categories” for Lexington Medical Center and read these posts as a separate blog or intermingle it with my personal blog. You will notice how all of the stories will coincide with one another. This is not at all intentional. This just happens when you’re chronicling your life.
Of course, comments and “likes” from other bloggers for either my personal blog or my LMC blog are always welcomed. It means so much, especially for a novice like me.
When it comes to work…
I work as a senior administrator for a large insurance provider Monday through Friday. How? At that particular “glass bubble” time, I have no earthly idea. I never missed a day!
During the time of my angst and utter turmoil, God sent to me Mr. Wine (with the name like the drink.). He was my new manager at the onset of my pitiful dilemma. Poor guy! (Just kidding!) Don’t feel sorry for him. He’s a tough one! He was, and still is, very amazing! Without Mr. Wine, I would’ve had to invoke my option for short term disability and miss many months of work.
After shaking off our first bad impressions of one another, our work styles actually clicked right away. His personality was quite unique, but he was the perfect person for the job…and the perfect person for my very unfortunate illness.
To meet Mr. Wine, read This Little Thing Called Work…
In Closing…
The next installment of my story will take us all to the MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR…my very first rheumatology appointment with Dr. G. That crucial day is finally upon me! We are at the point in the story where the tide would change for the better, or would it. For now, I can say, “I’m good, I’m good.”
Hopefully this summary gives enough of the backstory so you can easily follow along in what’s to come next. Believe it or not, that roller coaster ride is only at the halfway mark. I’m still here writing about it so I can “carry on, and smile along the way.”
“Give thanks unto the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.” I Chronicles 16:8 KJV (always)
My Alternate Universe 
I have indeed enjoyed reading your blog.
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Thank you! I appreciate your kind words.
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